Ten Thousand Buttons

.... I have right now, in cash, enough money to last me 2.5 months. In CASH!!!!  I was just thinking that some time back, I didn't even have enough money for the month that I was in, and now, I have enough money to last me 2.5 months,  and I am talking about living large... at least my large!!!  :-) life is very good. extremely good!!!   Yesterday I bought me a tablet, it was cheap, totally China, but it is cool, cause I just want it mostly to play,  I don't need it... and I totally love it!!!! totally love it! I want to use it for Tumblr, pintrest, and Abraham, mostly. Yes that is it, just for fun, my fun!!!  and to watch videos that inspire me, you know from Young Rich!!! and just make me happy and pappy!! I just want to be happy and pappy!! Also I was just thinking and for the most part, I don't mind my old men, I can even think of positive aspects of those old men. Even, Jimmy!! Even Jimmy.  I even like my last interaction with him, I was calm, I...

I received a somewhat threatening email, basically threatening my job situation, and it terrified the crap out of me. I tried to call the person to make clarifications and apologise, and the person would not take it. On Sunday I could not sleep in the morning as I do, I just thought and thought, I tried to distract myself, and it worked sort of.. I  was informed to wait, and I waited as long as I could then I tried to call and again, I sort of got at threat and I panicked. I managed twice to soothe me, but it didn't last. I thought about letting the whole job thing go and just start this my new life, I even wrote a letter to just leave. Then I started to watch fawlove, and I felt really good really good for the first time all of today, I watched many youtube comedians and it really changed my mind, then the none  hanging me to dry solution came through.  In just minutes, just minutes of me calming down it got sorted and was all solved.  

... I made it to be at work more or less on time.... more or less.. I was running really late... but I remember thinking  all would be well and that there was no need to rush  and then my ex-bosses driver came and gave me an extremely elaborate story about how he got extremely late!!Managed to keep my vibration steady even with boss being himself... also this morning I woke up in a panic, filled with terror and self hatred, so I did one hour of listening to meditations and I calmed down enough to love me again.. and I love that I love me again. Also I am thinking (me being deep here) I am realising that I made a point to be happy last month with Luca, no matter what was happening, and now as I leave him, I am still happy! and I think as I stay happy in that new role, then even my leaving will be happy and what will follow that will also be happy. Remember that chick I was really into, the one that confused me for one whole weekend, well she is here today... and I think she...

... I am grateful that for my 8,000KES... it made me feel like I could get 800,000.. it really dìd. I like that I slowed down my boss to my level, I like that there are 171 days left.. which is really cool, I also managed to hepa today and have a little lunch by mysala!

... I  have been wanting a new phone for a while. I have been wanting something modern enough to be modern and not shame me (yeah I know, something to work on.... ) and not break my bank.. and I did, and the decision was soo easy, I walked into a place and I just saw it, and it matched me, the price the modernness.. :-)  even the beauty of it... it didn't break my bank and it is really everything that I wanted.. it is also soo pretty.. It is my favourite play thing, absolutely beautiful and great, and all of these things that I absolutely adore it :-)!!! Also, two people threatened to visit me and my house looked like the remains of a bomb hit!! But something kept telling not to even clean the house, not even a little.. :-)... not even a little :-) and guess what, they both didn't show up.. Also on Sunday,  I noticed someone walking behind me. They kept stopping when I stopped and I could tell they were slim and male and a few inches taller than me, but for the life of ...

... I had been invited to a bash and I really wanted to let it all go, all of it I really didn't want to go, but my Inner Being was very insistent. I even tried going without making my hair and make-up but my IB would not have it... so I went.. with fresh hair and fresh clothes (boots and all) and honestly I was just a little bored, okay more than a little, but it went okay, I connected with a increasingly amazing guy, who has many positive  aspects that I appreciate, I like especially the seconds that our eyes locked... and he liked it...much!!! which is nice... really nice.. Anyhoo time passed and he started to talk to someone else and ridden with jealousy and my already boredom I left in protest!!! :-)   But I wasn't ready to go home ( and I needed to sober up a little)  so I went out dancing in Black Diamond, and saw Erica, and as always she was lovely!!  I actually was the first person to dance and dance I did for a little while then people started to dance.. an...

... God made a situation that could have been really bad, really okay. Also

... I have been aching for a cat, and one is available!! :-) ... Just read a passage that made me feel so much better about everything.. so much better...  Also now it is 8.42 and today has been an amazing day. I am not exhausted and it also seems like I worked well today... :-)

.... I was crossing the road with my car, and there was a whole lot of traffic, and there was this mat driver I noticed that he was stationary on the side I wanted to go to, and then that he was signaling to me, and then that he was trying to help me cross, he stayed there, ignoring la population behind him until I made it!! It was sort of miraculous, I couldn't believe it was actually happening to me.. and it was, it really  was. :-) Also, this morning I had an interesting dream. I had lunch with Dan, and he basically asked me to have sex with him as the first thing we would do to kick off our relationship and thinking about it, in the dream it wasn't odd. We even met other people who we didn't the intentions to.... we went to his room, and I remembered as we went, I searched inside myself to see if I was in any way forcing myself to do something I didn't want to, and my conclusion was that I wanted to and to go ahead. So we got his room and started kissing and stuff...

... There is this dude  I met many moons ago when I was feeling particularly good, and amazing about life and me and things... and then we were supposed to meet and then my vibration fell from the face of the earth and Patrick and Jimmy came back into my life, then now, I have been watching Faw Love (http://fawlove.tumblr.com/) and guess what Mr. Man who liked me when my vibration was high, just got in touch... he he he... It is amazing how fast these things work!!  Now got to home... early!!!!

... I have 22 followers on twitter!!!! Can you believe it!!! Also, my boss, ( my beloved, really beloved boss!!) is a hard task master... well not so true but work with him is a whole lot... a whole lot... BUT I have managed to reduce my work, totally appropriately with him, and I foresee reduced rate work for at least 2.5 weeks!!!!  I almost don't believe it but I do, because I am this awesome!!!! Also I am still loosing weight!!! I am still loosing weight!! It is really nice, my clothes fit so much looser; there is this necklace that I bought sometime back; which whenever I tried it chocked me... greatly but today I am wearing it and it is okay.. I think that is due to my thinner neck!! :-)  I really really like my boss, he is an amazing guy!!! and this calendar is soo beautiful... also yesterday I bought the pens... the pens that I wanted the ones that last One Whole Day!! BTW the shoes, that were trying to kill me before, they fit better.. :-) much better... can you believ...

.... I am looking at a whole lot of Shane pictures something that is bothering me felt better.  Also  I remember meeting (experiencing, more like)  this Shane look alike, I remember not being able to take my eyes of her, I remember  watching her walk  and loving it, I remember noticing and she liked that she had cut her hair (and it looked even more like Shane's. I remember we were in the middle of something super important and I made her laugh and she did. I remember loving that whole experience it was great!. I also remember yesterday talking to him and suddenly my whole life is was just better, and being this in love with him and having that be amazing!! I love that after that most of my fear went away and I even now know where that whole fear came from. I love that I got this amazing calender that is gorgeous and amazing  and happifying! This morning I have received an invite to a National Day of a country by the ambassador!! Guess what else I am manife...

... by Google... I have finally earned enough to get paid.. and I will in a few short weeks!! This is the 2nd time I am getting paid for something that I did with my hands. My idear

Milking all this money that I am getting... there is money from these sights :-), then there is money from Ochieng, then there is overtime money, then there is the other money from Ochieng, and ALSO  I am learning this new cool stuff that I could use for my thingi el thingi!!!  :-) Life is soo very good

I had a dream yesterday, it was the usual, it was my getting chased dream, the one that means that I am not giving all that I can in the office and that they are disapproving of me... when I woke up I was informed that there was a second part to that dream, that, although they are in disapproval, I was in a position of power i.e. there is nothing they can do about their disapproval... Also some time back I dreamt about this guy, he was good looking and rich and short and dark and we were together ( or some such) he was friendly and really liked me, talking to him was easy (it was a social occasion and there were so many people there mostly (in fact I only saw) women) He was only coming to talk to me, which was really cool, at some point even his dad came to say " hallo"  to me... and at some point he had to leave to get something, and he came by to let me know that he was leaving for a bit but would be back (aawww!!!)

... I have been receiving declarations of love.. and today, I am going to earn soo much money!!!!  it is really good, to earn lots and lots and lots of money,,,

... that I got some time back... I have been having some guilt about spending this money, but now that the secret donator spent mine without asking, I am free free to spend theirs!!! Also, this past weekend, I spent a lot of time in meditation thinking about the way it would be great to get a guy who appreciated my body just the way it was, one who may even like my tires, one who would love my mountaneouos boobs, and I did!!! I did I even had my lesbiani experience and it was really great.. I am the one who wanted a whole lot more... :-) also met this absolutely beautiful, boy that I spent the evening staring at... and the fun part... after ward, he spent his evening staring at MEEE!!!!! that was great.. although I wasn't the hottest, it was on me that his eye view... then later at the end, we got to talking and it was fun, and easy, really easy, he kept coming back to talk to me... and it was really great!! Also something really interesting thing... whenever I want joy in my f...

.. I am getting the brunt of my creations... but on the good side I made 0.55 euros in one day!!! that means that for the rest of this month I only have to make 0.01euros to get paid!!! it has been many years but now it is happening. After all this time, now it is happening!!!

... I pretended that every single thing on this earth was great and amazing!!!  I pretended and pretended and when I started to worry I opened fawlove!!! :-) then lunch with Annie, it went really well, I got to tell her fun stories which was really cool. On our way to lunch I notice an extremly hot dude, who looked exactly like Patrick but he was HOT!! so hot I wanted to cry, literally. The lunch was good, and  really good. After the as we were walking back I saw him again, we were looking at each other in the eye and smiling and we did for like 20 seconds from then on my day took off, I had an amazing walk back, I didn't even hear a word of what she said, I was in a cloud.. everything was fine... even the rest of the afternoon was amazing!!

.. I have been feeling money for a while, a few days... I have been seeing money numbers everywhere.. every single where and I had requested that if  I am to get money, then I didn't want  a loan, I also was calculating and discovered that I actually had money for about 3 months clean and clear :-) but that is another story interely... :-) ... Now today, I get a call from My brother about something that we have been working on for a while but we normally got no information about for a  really long time and they said that they would give us back some money and in return we give them a tip!! Woo hoo!!! I can pay part of rent for January!!!! (a large part even) and relax the body in December