Ten Thousand Buttons

... you know what is going on? Yesterday through no fault of my own, I slept totally sober, this  is the first time this quarter... maybe 3rd or 4th time this year. Also After not responding to Jimmy he kept quiet... and I know how he came into my life... and also  I thought for 6 seconds about the Sexy Engineer, he came, and I know that, that was the reason why, but still... also my beloved boss is leaving for  a few days, and also the other person is also leaving for  a few days :-)

... this morning I asked God to give me some money before this weekend start... and today I was informed, twice, that I will indeed get this money... and make my hair maybe go out... and what not :-)

..  Well today is the day that  I get my money.. I love getting my money... in general.. I could go have a little mexican food, I like that I have lost enough weight for people to notice that I have lost weight... ( I noticed that a trouser I had on yesterday was soo much looser than before)  also looking at old photos... my foot is healthier, it is soo much smaller.. I like that before I was soo fat that I was bending over cause of fat in my tires, and now I can stand straight, I like that I can wear the top I am wearing today, which is fitting today and it was not before. I also like that there are spaces that I was not in before and today I am in those spaces.. I remember that last year, I was in this bad situation, that I had wanted to get out of forever and it took many months, and I finally relaxed about it  and one day he said he would leave in a week, then the next day that he would leave in 2 days.. .then he was gone. Then he left. Then it was over. Then man...

..  :-) ... There is this dude who I consider to be totally beautiful and who makes me smile, just by thinking about him... and right at this second he is sitting right opposite me and I can look at him a  little and smile to me... this is of course obvious... I have been watching fawlove all of today.. he is soo beautiful I want to cry... Guess what just happened to me!!!!!!!! I talked to Angel, and she has got me  a way!!! a real way a real experience!! woo hoo!! I will get to do some facilitating..

... and the reason for all of this high energy stuff... So sato, I have this thing to do for Atieno and it is okay.I arrived late enough to watch only the last bit.. which was cool, then I spent time with her and for the 3rd time that week I got handed cash... :-)  Then in the afternoon I was really late to go for that bash that I was invited to .. instead of afternoon, I arrived late evening.. and it was alright... at first there was women, doing the womanly thing... which was really cool, but not great, then we joined the boys, and although for a bit I was alone, it ended up really cool, there were so many really nice guys, being totally great and amazing... Then this guy who for the longest time ignores me totally and he was amazing and me and he really seemed to like me and that was sooo very cool. We danced and laughed, and he is amazingly funny and exciting. I asked him to dance. And gave all sorts of instructions and he just followed like, I don't know, I expected to have a ...

... well for one thing, I discovered today that Gwen doesn't remain bad,  :-) I was quite depressed... :-).. also someone paid me after 4 years!!! There is all hope!!!! Then, my boss has many places to be... so  I may be able to leave before 7pm!!! also I was to send some people some money, and I discovered that I only have to send just a little bit of it.. .all is well, I am also realising how much I am into my boss...

.... and I was discovering that things are pretty great actually.. really a great, I am getting all those things that I wanted, finally, no more letters, no niceness, jeans till I die... only good things.. only good things.. Also I saw the renewal of my contract till the end of next year,  which was nice, also I thought I might not get time to cash my cheque and I will get time.

.... I had to urgently go visit the facilities, and I carried some reading materials, and  when I did,  I read that I should be deeply grateful, and I pretended to feel grateful, and then guess what happened;  I got finally a cheque that I have been waiting for, for such a long time.. ( it seemed long because I was broke:-) ) I also I am informed about some future monies which is really cool.

.. and suddenly my hits are more :-) also  I am looking at my credit card statement and I owe, zero!,

... are a hit!! It wasn't my intention but they still are! woo hoo!! :-)

... someone praised me and said I am the one who ALWAYS does that great thing... -  That was nice... and infront of someone who thinks that I don't have the ability to do the right thing... also I was sooo very very hungry... then a boss who didn't want to eat some snacks game them to me. Also yesterday in the midst of the vortex, a guy accosted me and today he called to ask me out to coffee :-)... I am too tired to go but I like that he asked...

... today I was shouted at by my boss and a) it was soo much scary than I thought, so much less scary... b) it made me realise that there is soo much I can do, I know sooo much and there are sooo many ways that I can make this the best experience in the world!!!  So many ways... this is my chance to prove LoA to me... Also today someone told me that the corset that I was wearing was really good!! it was really working!! guess what, I wasn't wearing one!!  Woo hooo!! I have lost weight, I have lost weight, I have lost weight!! and I mostly don't diet, mostly... all I have been doing is having a whole lot of fun!!