Ten Thousand Buttons

just one moment, and it was sooo cool... then it went away and I have been running after it ever since... also the funniest thing.. I have been dreaming about golden bamboo. ( I am a bit of a bamboo freak right now) and just looking at bambooo pics and picas an dreaming and dreaming, and then yesterday as I was going to the shop I noticed the same bamboo and I picked out a stem, ... then I read up what I was doing, I spent a whole lot of time looking at pictures, really looking at pictures of this plant, then after yesterday I decided that instead of going all the way to machakos to buy this plant I would buy it from where I work..  and it is 500 KES more (and also I had already decided that  I was to be bought today) ... so now I have it,  it is here with me.. something I wanted, really wanted, loved adored it and now it is here with me.... ALSO it is HUGE!!!! really.. and I requested a kindly gentleman to assist me with getting it to a place where I could move it and he...

... have been a little difficult for me, I have really difficult, in terms of vibrations, love, money, relationships, everything!! Then yesterday I got really desperate for money, really really really,  telling me it was the reason why I was sad and desperate, then I told myself that this sadness has been there forever, even before before..  there has been times when I didn't have money, there has been lots of times when I had a lot of money (which is something we should discuss later... wink wink, nudge nudge...) then I decided to just work on the parts that I had control I wrote twice, once in the morning and once in the afternoon, after it all, I just gave up on this whole money issue, and just decided to live with what I have.. I decided to just be happy, just happy for the sake of happy.. and it worked, it really did, I had a good night yesterday, this morning I actually woke up happy, really happy. I carried my cheques ready to cash really little money, but it was alrigh...

... getting me to feel better... I have been on a quest to get more money and now I realise where my error lay.. I was doing action journey more than emotional journey. Today I am trying to for just good feelings, this morning, someone who I have  really nice feelings for said 'hi' to me in a really nice way... it made me feel really good, also right now the thing that I am mostly looking forward to is  talking to this workmate who I like very much... Also I got samosa... I guess it is samosa lunch... :-) also right at this moment, I am very grateful for music technology :-)

.... I have been feeling quite depressed this week. Really sad alone and depressed... and granted I was  doing the feel so much better process.. what got me feeling good was seeing MB12!! :-).... that I feel is funny! And there is much to learn!! Also, I am still loosing weight... I am wearing this dress that only 2 weeks ago I looked pregnant in!!!!! now I am looking fucking amazing! almost flat stomach, thing are feeling good... also MB12 is back... that is really cool... (I should get new names for all of them... I am getting really confused about who is who ... :-)...) I like me... Also My Book of Positive Aspects... the HELB loan - I like that because of it I got sooo very broke, so broke that I wasn't able to afford insurance which meant that I have had to leave my car behind and I have to take matatus and I have to walk, which has helped me loose sooo much weight, so much weight that now I am looking pretty fantastic if you ask me. - I also like it because now I am v...

..... my weight loss... I am smaller... I am smaller and it is real and true. I am even smaller than the period when I was walking 2 hours a day, and eating right no carbs and what not... there is this trouser that I used to wear that was soo tight, that I could hardly breath, but now it is so loose it there is space between me and the trouser, and yesterday, I was able to sit and knit with trouser on, which is something I don't remember the last time I was able to, cause I have lost enough weight for me to fit into the trouser while sitting. Also today I discovered something really interesting, I was admonished for not collecting some documents, then today I discovered that someone had put them in my computer without my knowledge.. as a result, I have them... I kept wondering why I was being requested to check that machine and there was the information....

.... this morning I feel really really good. Life feels really good. I spent this whole past weekend making granny squares and other little projects and it was all soo very fun.. especially looking at the really really pretty... I like that this morning I was feeling a little depressed and granny squares and little projects got me back to me... I really love my level of obsession... also my fibre projects... I simply love them...

.... I went for this funeral and it was alright, really alright... it had many ups and some downs, but it was alright, really alright, on the way back I saw these things that made me feel upset, and jealous, and sorry for me, then I went home and had a drink, and this morning I thought about my feelings and how I felt that the feelings were inappropriate last night, this morning I am feeling it is alright, these feelings they are fine, and I can use them to access the things that I want..I am grateful for it, and I know that I can be appreciative of all of these things... and also, this thing that I want, I want it very very much... very very much, this thing that I want, I want it very very much... Also the money has started coming in... this is extremely cool... very very cool. Also this morning, I had a thought, I will do this thing because I have money, not so that I can get money... that made me think a little. and I want this very much... I want this very very much... Just ...

... I think so because (a) I remembered  that someone who has the ability to pay, owed me money, also I got a click, and that means money, also I wanted to borrow money from my sister, and she had the money so now I am alright, I have enough money for lunch and busfare even up to tomorrow... also I have sold the shoes.... I have actually sold the shoes.... now all I have to do is await that money ---- Finally Mulla!!!! I can even tell that person who had to pay me, he can wait!! :-) Finally Mulla!!!! Also I am mucho mucho excitito about the knitting.... I love how much  I love it... I love my projects!! I have just seen a pic of MB12 :-).... just reminds me of how much I am loving life right now... someone has jus Did I tell you that I sold the shoes!!!! AND as I have later discovered for the price I wanted!!!! Also someone seems to be very serious about me teaching her and friends French :-) WHAT!!! Money y'all I could be alright ....

... I have made it to one thousand after trying for so long... for so very long.... I have one thousand people who asked to join the jobs page on FB... I am listening to Abraham, and it is calming, I am feeling better... also I have access to joy, just a little joy and that makes me feel better... a whole lot better... Also I would like to sleep during the lunch hour, and I have no car...  also... remember in 2007 when I manifested money from the ethers... well that money is still coming in... also I have one more person following me on twitter, and they have been reblogging and liking my stuff and what not... :-) Regarding money, I have just remembered someone who is in a position to refund me, who owes me money...  I might have money for money.... :-)....Also I didn't have lunch so I have transport for tomorrow... I was wobbling after lunch then  I happened on MB1# and he assisted to lift me right up! He also behaved as though, he likes me soooo much and me I am...

... I was a little depressed because of my money situation... and how everyone else in my family seems to have their shit together... I got inspired to do the whole process of cleaning up my vibration and I got to feeling soo  much better... I also discovered why I was here... why exactly I was in this place of total brokenness, to get serious about all that money I have been saying I want, :-)... it was soo clear... so very clear... and it felt like a good thing, a really good thing, and I appreciate that... I also felt that it was important, really important and a very good thing that I am here in this money situation... also realised that this path I am on... the love of making and the new yarn and all that they are where I am supposed to be... really and trully they are where I am supposed to be that it is the absolute right thing for me... it is my true path. and I like that, very very much...  also I walked... also  I am listening to good music and liking that.... ...

... many things that are about love and joy for me. Things that are about passion about  love about things that I am interested in. I like that they are my dreams, they are all my dreams. They are my dreams and I like my dreams. I like very much my dreams. Very much my dreams. Today I am discovering that I have the resources, all of these resources. All of these resources. I am also learning all of these neat and amazing things that I am finding really really exciting. Also everything that I want for it is soo easy to get. So very very easy to get. All of it is readily available. Totally readily available. Everything about it is easy and cheap and totally loveable. Also my periods are here!!! totally here and for the first time in a really long time, I didn't go crazy!!!! Can you believe it!! The only thing was Olga and that lasted one day!!!! I cannot believe it!!! I made it without going crazy!!!  It is sooo amazing that the things that are of my dreams my young dreams...

So as you are aware I was having the at-most amazing-inly horrible week before... you know.... then it happened to me that my world was going to good no matter what... that was yesterday, I did some process which worked halfway... then I got left with comedy which was hy-larious!! and it brightened my whole day... a guy I like made me stand right next to  him and he made me laugh! I decided he is MB3... then I tried to get a guy to allow me to go for a trip for one day then he gave me 5 days!!!1 I cannot believe it!!!! I am extremely excited!! really excited!! It solved all my money issues in all its entire...!!! :)