Ten Thousand Buttons

.... I have right now, in cash, enough money to last me 2.5 months. In CASH!!!!  I was just thinking that some time back, I didn't even have enough money for the month that I was in, and now, I have enough money to last me 2.5 months,  and I am talking about living large... at least my large!!!  :-) life is very good. extremely good!!!   Yesterday I bought me a tablet, it was cheap, totally China, but it is cool, cause I just want it mostly to play,  I don't need it... and I totally love it!!!! totally love it! I want to use it for Tumblr, pintrest, and Abraham, mostly. Yes that is it, just for fun, my fun!!!  and to watch videos that inspire me, you know from Young Rich!!! and just make me happy and pappy!! I just want to be happy and pappy!! Also I was just thinking and for the most part, I don't mind my old men, I can even think of positive aspects of those old men. Even, Jimmy!! Even Jimmy.  I even like my last interaction with him, I was calm, I...

I received a somewhat threatening email, basically threatening my job situation, and it terrified the crap out of me. I tried to call the person to make clarifications and apologise, and the person would not take it. On Sunday I could not sleep in the morning as I do, I just thought and thought, I tried to distract myself, and it worked sort of.. I  was informed to wait, and I waited as long as I could then I tried to call and again, I sort of got at threat and I panicked. I managed twice to soothe me, but it didn't last. I thought about letting the whole job thing go and just start this my new life, I even wrote a letter to just leave. Then I started to watch fawlove, and I felt really good really good for the first time all of today, I watched many youtube comedians and it really changed my mind, then the none  hanging me to dry solution came through.  In just minutes, just minutes of me calming down it got sorted and was all solved.  

... I made it to be at work more or less on time.... more or less.. I was running really late... but I remember thinking  all would be well and that there was no need to rush  and then my ex-bosses driver came and gave me an extremely elaborate story about how he got extremely late!!Managed to keep my vibration steady even with boss being himself... also this morning I woke up in a panic, filled with terror and self hatred, so I did one hour of listening to meditations and I calmed down enough to love me again.. and I love that I love me again. Also I am thinking (me being deep here) I am realising that I made a point to be happy last month with Luca, no matter what was happening, and now as I leave him, I am still happy! and I think as I stay happy in that new role, then even my leaving will be happy and what will follow that will also be happy. Remember that chick I was really into, the one that confused me for one whole weekend, well she is here today... and I think she...

... I am grateful that for my 8,000KES... it made me feel like I could get 800,000.. it really dìd. I like that I slowed down my boss to my level, I like that there are 171 days left.. which is really cool, I also managed to hepa today and have a little lunch by mysala!

... I  have been wanting a new phone for a while. I have been wanting something modern enough to be modern and not shame me (yeah I know, something to work on.... ) and not break my bank.. and I did, and the decision was soo easy, I walked into a place and I just saw it, and it matched me, the price the modernness.. :-)  even the beauty of it... it didn't break my bank and it is really everything that I wanted.. it is also soo pretty.. It is my favourite play thing, absolutely beautiful and great, and all of these things that I absolutely adore it :-)!!! Also, two people threatened to visit me and my house looked like the remains of a bomb hit!! But something kept telling not to even clean the house, not even a little.. :-)... not even a little :-) and guess what, they both didn't show up.. Also on Sunday,  I noticed someone walking behind me. They kept stopping when I stopped and I could tell they were slim and male and a few inches taller than me, but for the life of ...