Ten Thousand Buttons

... by Google... I have finally earned enough to get paid.. and I will in a few short weeks!! This is the 2nd time I am getting paid for something that I did with my hands. My idear

Milking all this money that I am getting... there is money from these sights :-), then there is money from Ochieng, then there is overtime money, then there is the other money from Ochieng, and ALSO  I am learning this new cool stuff that I could use for my thingi el thingi!!!  :-) Life is soo very good

I had a dream yesterday, it was the usual, it was my getting chased dream, the one that means that I am not giving all that I can in the office and that they are disapproving of me... when I woke up I was informed that there was a second part to that dream, that, although they are in disapproval, I was in a position of power i.e. there is nothing they can do about their disapproval... Also some time back I dreamt about this guy, he was good looking and rich and short and dark and we were together ( or some such) he was friendly and really liked me, talking to him was easy (it was a social occasion and there were so many people there mostly (in fact I only saw) women) He was only coming to talk to me, which was really cool, at some point even his dad came to say " hallo"  to me... and at some point he had to leave to get something, and he came by to let me know that he was leaving for a bit but would be back (aawww!!!)

... I have been receiving declarations of love.. and today, I am going to earn soo much money!!!!  it is really good, to earn lots and lots and lots of money,,,

... that I got some time back... I have been having some guilt about spending this money, but now that the secret donator spent mine without asking, I am free free to spend theirs!!! Also, this past weekend, I spent a lot of time in meditation thinking about the way it would be great to get a guy who appreciated my body just the way it was, one who may even like my tires, one who would love my mountaneouos boobs, and I did!!! I did I even had my lesbiani experience and it was really great.. I am the one who wanted a whole lot more... :-) also met this absolutely beautiful, boy that I spent the evening staring at... and the fun part... after ward, he spent his evening staring at MEEE!!!!! that was great.. although I wasn't the hottest, it was on me that his eye view... then later at the end, we got to talking and it was fun, and easy, really easy, he kept coming back to talk to me... and it was really great!! Also something really interesting thing... whenever I want joy in my f...

.. I am getting the brunt of my creations... but on the good side I made 0.55 euros in one day!!! that means that for the rest of this month I only have to make 0.01euros to get paid!!! it has been many years but now it is happening. After all this time, now it is happening!!!

... I pretended that every single thing on this earth was great and amazing!!!  I pretended and pretended and when I started to worry I opened fawlove!!! :-) then lunch with Annie, it went really well, I got to tell her fun stories which was really cool. On our way to lunch I notice an extremly hot dude, who looked exactly like Patrick but he was HOT!! so hot I wanted to cry, literally. The lunch was good, and  really good. After the as we were walking back I saw him again, we were looking at each other in the eye and smiling and we did for like 20 seconds from then on my day took off, I had an amazing walk back, I didn't even hear a word of what she said, I was in a cloud.. everything was fine... even the rest of the afternoon was amazing!!

.. I have been feeling money for a while, a few days... I have been seeing money numbers everywhere.. every single where and I had requested that if  I am to get money, then I didn't want  a loan, I also was calculating and discovered that I actually had money for about 3 months clean and clear :-) but that is another story interely... :-) ... Now today, I get a call from My brother about something that we have been working on for a while but we normally got no information about for a  really long time and they said that they would give us back some money and in return we give them a tip!! Woo hoo!!! I can pay part of rent for January!!!! (a large part even) and relax the body in December

.... the God of Heaven has shown me again (and again) that He will take care of me when I leave this place and that makes me feel safe... I haven't felt safe about leaving in a while. I like that I discovered Hale and Kenzi and that they are fun... I like how much fun they are... They totally changed my day!!

... you know what is going on? Yesterday through no fault of my own, I slept totally sober, this  is the first time this quarter... maybe 3rd or 4th time this year. Also After not responding to Jimmy he kept quiet... and I know how he came into my life... and also  I thought for 6 seconds about the Sexy Engineer, he came, and I know that, that was the reason why, but still... also my beloved boss is leaving for  a few days, and also the other person is also leaving for  a few days :-)

... this morning I asked God to give me some money before this weekend start... and today I was informed, twice, that I will indeed get this money... and make my hair maybe go out... and what not :-)

..  Well today is the day that  I get my money.. I love getting my money... in general.. I could go have a little mexican food, I like that I have lost enough weight for people to notice that I have lost weight... ( I noticed that a trouser I had on yesterday was soo much looser than before)  also looking at old photos... my foot is healthier, it is soo much smaller.. I like that before I was soo fat that I was bending over cause of fat in my tires, and now I can stand straight, I like that I can wear the top I am wearing today, which is fitting today and it was not before. I also like that there are spaces that I was not in before and today I am in those spaces.. I remember that last year, I was in this bad situation, that I had wanted to get out of forever and it took many months, and I finally relaxed about it  and one day he said he would leave in a week, then the next day that he would leave in 2 days.. .then he was gone. Then he left. Then it was over. Then man...

..  :-) ... There is this dude who I consider to be totally beautiful and who makes me smile, just by thinking about him... and right at this second he is sitting right opposite me and I can look at him a  little and smile to me... this is of course obvious... I have been watching fawlove all of today.. he is soo beautiful I want to cry... Guess what just happened to me!!!!!!!! I talked to Angel, and she has got me  a way!!! a real way a real experience!! woo hoo!! I will get to do some facilitating..

... and the reason for all of this high energy stuff... So sato, I have this thing to do for Atieno and it is okay.I arrived late enough to watch only the last bit.. which was cool, then I spent time with her and for the 3rd time that week I got handed cash... :-)  Then in the afternoon I was really late to go for that bash that I was invited to .. instead of afternoon, I arrived late evening.. and it was alright... at first there was women, doing the womanly thing... which was really cool, but not great, then we joined the boys, and although for a bit I was alone, it ended up really cool, there were so many really nice guys, being totally great and amazing... Then this guy who for the longest time ignores me totally and he was amazing and me and he really seemed to like me and that was sooo very cool. We danced and laughed, and he is amazingly funny and exciting. I asked him to dance. And gave all sorts of instructions and he just followed like, I don't know, I expected to have a ...

... well for one thing, I discovered today that Gwen doesn't remain bad,  :-) I was quite depressed... :-).. also someone paid me after 4 years!!! There is all hope!!!! Then, my boss has many places to be... so  I may be able to leave before 7pm!!! also I was to send some people some money, and I discovered that I only have to send just a little bit of it.. .all is well, I am also realising how much I am into my boss...

.... and I was discovering that things are pretty great actually.. really a great, I am getting all those things that I wanted, finally, no more letters, no niceness, jeans till I die... only good things.. only good things.. Also I saw the renewal of my contract till the end of next year,  which was nice, also I thought I might not get time to cash my cheque and I will get time.

.... I had to urgently go visit the facilities, and I carried some reading materials, and  when I did,  I read that I should be deeply grateful, and I pretended to feel grateful, and then guess what happened;  I got finally a cheque that I have been waiting for, for such a long time.. ( it seemed long because I was broke:-) ) I also I am informed about some future monies which is really cool.

.. and suddenly my hits are more :-) also  I am looking at my credit card statement and I owe, zero!,

... are a hit!! It wasn't my intention but they still are! woo hoo!! :-)

... someone praised me and said I am the one who ALWAYS does that great thing... -  That was nice... and infront of someone who thinks that I don't have the ability to do the right thing... also I was sooo very very hungry... then a boss who didn't want to eat some snacks game them to me. Also yesterday in the midst of the vortex, a guy accosted me and today he called to ask me out to coffee :-)... I am too tired to go but I like that he asked...