Ten Thousand Buttons

... I am feeling better about me, also something major happened yesterday that I thought would drown and go under it, but I am feeling good now, even thanking God a little for those things... Also something interesting..2 men from my past have manifested, and there is this guy I get on with who for some reason has been trying really hard to get my attention... I must be in love...

.. I recently manifested many many pens, some of which write amazing!! Also yesterday I made a wonderful amazing meal  and I absolutely loved it, also many days ago I downloaded some Brahma Kumaris Meditations,  and was not able to get them into my phone the last time, and this time all of them without any issues, all of them, I get to  do my new meditations.. (I am very happy about them)

.. I am grateful that  I have something to work on, I am grateful that I was full of panic and I got soothed in the middle of the night, I am grateful that I have this job, I am grateful that things are actually okay, I am grateful that there is someone who is irritating me and I am learning how to be okay  with that, I am getting back inside the vortex, really inside the vortex, feeling the good feelings that, also I am beginning to get grid work thingi..

.. that is today is going well, I have been having a cheque that I haven't cashed for a while, and now I wanted some money to pay off things and at the same time I didn't want to go the SACCO and also needed the money before lunch time today. But the boss had a meeting at 10.00 and a driver happened to be available to take me, then I got to the bank and there was no one at the counter, processes went on quickly and I was able to get back to the office at exactly 11.00am like I wanted. Also I had been wanting for a while to have at least one day away from the office, during the week and I have been managing... last week I was away on Thursday.. sick, yesterday, away funeral, next week Tuesday, labour day!! Also I had a wonderful evening with Cyrille, very nice..

.... like a week ago I was in complete crisis, Cyrille was on his way back and I was supposed to live with him and for the life of me I could not stand him!! I tried all the things I knew, but nothing changed I had an ache in my heart, and finally I sort of gave up  and the answer sort of came, (a) meditate much more (b) say " thank you " about the specific things you have issues with, and I did as much as I could, and we were not really in contact, then on Thursday night, he called to say he was at the airport, for leg one, which meant it was just a matter of time before he came back, and I panicked, but I kept trying, and now though it has been not without contrast, it is working well, really well, I am even beginning to work on the other things about the relationship that were issues, you know.. him.. my family and him... and I think it might be working.... :-) also I was at hospital yesterday and my blood pressure is down to normal levels many points without the significa...

... There is this dude, many years ago ( last year) that I had a crush on and it seems he maybe coming to work with us... (Interesting).... also you remember the thing I was for, for my mom, well what I was supposed to get was something that would cost 3,500!!! but when I got to the shop, it turns out it works and only costs 200 shillings!! woo hoo!! also that thing that my mom says will not work, can work, and it really reasonably prized.. much more than the solution she is seeking, and this one is also permanent!! Also all those things that I thought I needed to spend soo much more, and it seem cost soo much less, and I even have the name of a plumber... also, also I think I got a solution for the toilet seat... also car is ready and it will be delivered at home.. which is cool, I don't really have strength to go all the way to get it...:-)

... something that is developing is that I have car repairs to do, and I really believed that it would cost a bomb and I was informed that it would cost 10k less than I expected, which made me want to shout!!! then it will be ready in not today, which is very cool cause I really want to go to town today to run some errands, also I managed to have lunch with sometimes un-appreciated one and it went well... I even paid :-) also 5 minutes to HOME!!!!

.... many months ago,someone had irritated me greatly!! Instead of thinking about them, I decided to think about the food I had just bought, it was red hot chilli samosa, and kebabs, and I spent such a long time dreaming about how wonderful the meal would be and how I would enjoy it, those thoughts are the ones that kept running over and over in my head, and filled my head with the dreams of a wonderful meal and it turned out to be one of the best little fast food take out meal I have ever had!! :-), I also  think I am managing to get a solution for my toilet issues...  :-) also something funny happened today, a big-ass bossman caught me in the middle of a boogie woogie session

.. I left the house, then after being called back for 200 metres, I went back home and I had nothing to read, cause I was going to have an omelet for breakfast, I had some time..... Then I thought to carry the " thank you ".. then guess what the very first story is about my exact issue, I am very happy to say,  " thank you "!!!!  I flexed my muscle today, I actually flexed my muscle and it worked, not all the way but it worked, I got a scaredy call from someone and I wouldn't pick from fear, then I calmed me down and it went okay... And  i r

... yesterday I was on the phone in the matt, and I realised after getting off that I had not paid the fare...  he he he more money to me!! Oh yeah,  Mom got an internet phone so now I no longer have to know about American politics!! Also yesterday Mom, wanted to me feel sorry for  a really powerful man and I ended up giving her this enthusiastic preaching session, that she was not only not ready for but did  not appreciate!! he he, very funny for me... I finally got my revenge!!!! was very happy with that... also this morning, I felt and thought really good thoughts of my Magnificent Man!!! I like that I can feel this!!! :-).... also I was just listening to Abraham... I am very upset, and at OOC I can record that the last time I was upset at him was in 2010 or maybe 2008!! so it is possible to not be upset with someone for 3 or 4 years!! also something interesting, there is this company many years ago, and then everyone I know had lost all faith, then they were dr...

... is not an easy day for me, things are just the way they are and it is sort of not easy for me... I may require to read things from before. Also I am remembering on Sunday, there is something I didn't want to do with someone, and I thought up all these lies, then I couldn't think of any any more, and when I called to tell my lies, the person I was calling was not available even after I called her twice, which gave me enough time to get into the matt and away... also remember that I was able to tell my brother info from my IB... well it was interesting to note how accurate it was...

This morning for some reason I am feeling that my good feelings are more important, much more important than other things... I got up this morning could not decide what to wear for the life of me.. I settled for something and then changed my mind which is really great! and the result is that I am looking really good! I am enjoying this good look! Also my boss is away for the week!!! He has left for an all day meeting and he is on leave tomorrow till Tuesday!! and BTW I can take that day off!! :-) ... also this morning, I was really really late.. but I got a lift from one of my favorite people in the world right now, (BTW did I tell you OOC made me feel really good and special) and we talked and talked, and we even shared an umbrella and because it was soo tiny we had to be really really close... it was soo great!! really great!  Also I made a really delicious meal  last night, made of things that remained from before... also I had a good night's sleep, for the first time in su...

... also I am looking forward to all the sleeping I will get to do soon, also there is something I have been wanting, to pack my car in the back so that I am free to walk to and fro work, and today I managed, I went home at lunch time and managed! Also I noticed during the weekend that I looked to me to have lost weight.. and now it seems that the rain will pour.. I certainly hope soo. It is BTW.. pouring.. I want to inside my bed, alseep! I have a small prayer if it comes true, thank you God, if not thank you God, it is well

...  Friday, I had  a wonderful time everything went may way.. everything went my way, I even started to go home and was detained for 1,000KES... then Saturday, everything went to hell, which is as it should be, and that is going well, mostly, also I dreamt that someone gave me back that key, also on Sato after my experiences, my brother threatened to come see me and asses the damage, I was sooo panicked, at some point I even woke up in a sweat of fear that he would show up, then something  told me to calm down and not even think about it, and guess what, he didnt!!!! woo hooo!!! Also that dude I love, he invited me to sit right next to him... for like 30 minutes... :-) Otherwise have a fabulous evening.. I am having wine and pork or chicken.. :-)

.... I have more weight loss to report, today I tried on a skirt (one of the reasons I was late for work today) that Mom bought for me, which at the time was a ridiculous fit, but today it entered and fit well, I even tried on  one of the trousers and the fit was really okay, I might wear it tomorrow although the pot is still equally there, but I discovered that it is possible to hide it with strategically put boobs :-) so I might wear it tomorrow.... also I received a request from an outside client this morning which really I didn't know what I was supposed to do,

... my boss has invited me for  a big as all important meeting... it is probably a mistake but all is well, Things are feeling good, I also got my hair made, and now I feel that it is reasonable. This morning I got a call from my sister about man-ish issues and it went really well... really really well, also my car has issues that I was once afraid to take care of, and now someone else is going to... woo hoo for me, also today I wanted to walk so the car can only be taken care of tomorrow, also, remember that meeting that was stressing me, the one which was to have all those important work people who make life more interesting well, they are not coming, just one, simple person... with simple needs!!! and it is not even 10.00am!!! also with the resources I have I can send all the money that Jimmy wanted even if nothing changes.. even if nothing changes... also I am getting even more strongly that I am supposed to appreciate Jimmy more, so much more.. and also work, and als...

... I remember something funny, I cooked a meal  on Sunday, Creamy Pork in Sour Cream Sauce, and really I didn't like it... not really, and then I had the remains yesterday and they were positively delicious! It is working... It is working.. I am managing to copy the meditations, they have been helping me to sleep.. . today I managed to finish up all my silly stuff, and I am getting all my money tomorrow, plus extra's... and  I also took car home and have parked it for good till Jimmy gets home, on my way back I got a lift!!!! and the car is in better condition than when I gave it out... and now it is time for me to go make my hair!!!!! Woo hoo!!

.... to discover that it is possible for me to do what ever it is that I want. Whatever it is that I want, especially having to do with Jimmy which has always been a sticking point for me, I have always felt like I couldn't clean and change my experience of him in my life, and yesterday for some reason it became clear to me, which was sort of marvelous... also  I have a bit of revenge going on, last week  a colleague manipulated me into booking a meeting for him with the boss, and guess what, the boss  has cancelled that meeting and is now going for another one!!! without my help!! he he he he he., I have just discovered that my victory was empty :-( , the manipulator had already cancelled it prior to my involvement :-( , on the good side, I had taped some meditation stuff and it turned out great, it really helped me out last night when  I was having a panic attack.. so we can effectively say that me, here at Hatred/Rage,  I am doing better. Also My computer t...

..... I think that  I will have a fabulously fabulous day! I have lost a little weight, (according to my clothes) which again I adore, boss in not in so work has reduced, also  there was a meeting to be held next week and now it has been postponed, which is great, cause I really wanted a week off... and I got it.. although things are still in the works, and last night, I felt great about the fact I moved all these people to postpone a meeting cause  I am feeling lazy, it is kind of cool, and I am working on Jimmy and it is getting cool, I am kind of happy, I like that I am getting there and that there is more I work I want to do and it is great! I am looking forward to that. Also I am listening to a really inspiring and amazing... makes me want to 'do' something!  But it is great, I really feeling good!! Also, it has happened, all meetings for next week have been cancelled!!! AGAIN... I am just having the best day and today I am NOT apologising for it!!   ...

... I couldn't wake up... I struggled quite a bit, then in despair I thanked God anyway and guess what I got to walk with that favorite workmate of mine which is cool.. also I managed to make the deposit as requested and that was cool, I got bought for lunch, also I had a fun  lesbianic experience .... ah there is this busty workmate who sometimes when she is talking to you, she comes close, puts an arm around you and sort of presses her boobs on to ya... anyhoo.. in other news, I have been wanting to go somewhere to get some meditation tapes and something has been stopping me and I have come to aplace where I really need meditation stuff and guess what they were a -plenty in Youtube so that is great, also I was needing to ask someone a question, and I had tried on Sunday, you know mentally but I didn't receive an answer, but yesterday I got an answer to my question, for the thing I want to happen, money must exchange hands... which for me was really cool, cause it means that t...